How to Live with Bipolar Disorder
By Meghan Villatoro
Learning you have an illness is never easy. Finding out you have a mental illness, like bipolar disorder, is no exception.
Some people become discouraged when they are given a diagnosis. They don’t like being labeled or are concerned they will be judged.
For others, putting a name to how they feel can be a relief. It’s hard when you don’t know why you feel the way you do, so being able to learn about your illness can bring a lot of answers.
Like all illnesses, learning how to live with bipolar disorder brings its share of challenges but with the right help and support, someone who is bipolar can still live a great life.
*Here at “Rich Faith in Poor Health” we do not provide medical treatment, diagnosis, or advice. We just share what has worked best for us in our own health journeys. No information published on this website is intended to be a substitute for medical advice from a qualified healthcare professional. We highly recommend that you talk to your doctor before taking any action or making any healthcare changes.
How Hard is it to Live with Bipolar Disorder?
I was in ninth grade when I first began to feel like things weren’t right sometimes. Getting out of bed was hard and leaving the house was nearly impossible. I had to push myself daily to get to school, and most days I came home by noon.
Shortly after I graduated High School I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I wasn’t on any medication but had begun talking to a therapist regularly.
Sometimes, it seemed like I was fine, almost cured. My emotions were under control, and I had an extra burst of energy. I could accomplish a ton of things in a short amount of time.
Other times, I struggled greatly just to live a normal life. Even the thought of simple tasks like showering or cleaning up my bedroom were extremely overwhelming.
It can be hard to live with bipolar disorder, but in my opinion living undiagnosed, or incorrectly diagnosed was worse. When a professional finally explained to me that these highs and lows were more than regular depression, it was a relief.
I felt better learning there was a medical reason why I was that way.
Bipolar 1 vs. Bipolar 2
People tend to think that having bipolar disorder, means your moods are constantly changing throughout the day. Some people do have a specific type of Bipolar that causes that to happen, but for most who have the disorder that isn’t true.
There are two main types of Bipolar, type 1 and type 2.
In both types of the Disorder, there are periods of highs and lows. However, someone with Bipolar 1 usually experiences higher, less controlled periods of mania and typically has less intense bouts of depression.
Someone with Bipolar 2, such as myself, has a lower degree of mania, called hypomania, but has more severe depressive episodes. These low periods can be debilitating.
It isn’t uncommon for me to feel depressed for long periods. This depression is not like experiencing sadness over a certain situation, although that can trigger a depressive mood, this is typically a symptom of my illness that I have very little control of.
Can You Live a Normal Life With Bipolar Disorder?
While learning how to live with bipolar disorder comes with its share of challenges, it does not mean that someone who has the diagnosis cannot live a fairly normal life.
Getting help from medical professionals is crucial to living a balanced life. Your doctors can devise a plan to help you keep your emotions under control.
For some, this will mean medication like an anti-depressant, or mood stabilizer, while others may be able to manage their illness through talk therapy or alternative methods.
Finding the right support is key because it will help you manage your bipolar disorder and live a more normal life.
How to Live with Someone with Bipolar Disorder
Having a loved one with mental health issues can be difficult. It can be hard to know how you can support someone with bipolar disorder.
Two things that will make living with a Bipolar loved one easier are accepting that they have a real illness and educating yourself on bipolar disorder.
1) Remember Bipolar Disorder Is a Real Illness.
It’s important to acknowledge that bipolar disorder is a real illness. Sometimes when someone has an “invisible illness” it’s easy to forget that they are sick. This can be true when a loved one is Bipolar.
There is nothing more frustrating than being diagnosed with an illness, only to have others doubt you. Even during “good periods” be sure to remember that their bipolar disorder isn’t gone, it’s just managed.
The biggest mistake you can make is to tell them that they “seemed fine a few days ago,” and they just need to “think happy thoughts”.
Minimizing someone’s illness is never helpful, and making light of bipolar disorder is no exception.
Recognize that a loved one who is Bipolar cannot simply snap out of it or turn off their moods. Although their feelings might not seem reasonable to you, they cannot change the way they feel any more than someone with type one diabetes can control it at will.
This is why helping them find the right support and medical care is essential. If they are neglecting therapy, or skipping meds, rationally talk to them and explain how much you have seen the benefits of those things instead of shouting things like “you’re acting crazy again.”
2) Educate Yourself on Bipolar Disorder.
In addition to acknowledging that their illness is real, take time to educate yourself about it.
Learning about their specific struggles will help you identify what they need from you and how you can best support them. It will also teach you about things that may be triggering them or cause their moods to shift.
While there is a lot of information online that can be helpful, remember not to trust everything you read on the internet. Getting materials to read from a doctor or therapist will usually be more reliable than other sources.
How to Deal with Bipolar Disorder in a Relationship
As with any illness, bipolar disorder does not just affect the person who is diagnosed, but also those that they love.
Looking back, I can see that when I was undiagnosed, I was extremely hard to live with. I had no control over my emotions and didn’t understand why I acted the way I did at times. I know this was as hard for my husband and other family members sometimes as it was for me.
Dealing with someone who has bipolar disorder comes with many challenges, but your care and support can make a big difference. Having any illness can be scary at times, so be sure to give those in your life who have bipolar disorder your love and encouragement, not your judgments or harsh words.
Living with a Bipolar Spouse
Marriage is hard, but it can be especially challenging if you have a mentally ill spouse. My mental illness took a toll on our relationship during the early years of our marriage.
There were days when just living life was hard. My depression made my whole body hurt and gave me extreme fatigue. I didn’t leave the house for months at a time and even when I was at home I could barely function.
Other times my husband would wake up at 3 am and find me organizing our closet or writing blog posts. My energy would be through the roof, and I would hardly sleep.
My moods and emotions were all over the place and I didn’t understand why. I would cry uncontrollably at times for no real reason and other times I would feel like I was so happy I could burst.
When Your Bipolar Spouse is Struggling
There will be times when you see that your spouse with bipolar disorder is struggling. This may be especially true if they are not sticking to the care plan their doctor has given them.
If this is the case, you can encourage them to get help, but this should be done out of love and concern. Do not tell your Bipolar husband or wife that they are crazy or make them feel like a failure.
Instead, reassure them that you want them to get the treatment they need, so they can feel good and live a better life.
Your spouse’s moods will often be affected by their illness, but that doesn’t mean that everything they feel is due to their mental illness. They can feel happy, sad, or any other emotion just because they are human.
Be sure not to “blame” every emotion they have on their bipolar disorder. There will be times when they will have valid reasons to feel the way they do, just like everyone else.
Seeing your Bipolar spouse upset and asking something like “Did you take your medicine today?” is guaranteed to make them frustrated with you.
This is especially true if you say it in the heat of the moment.
If this is a true concern, wait until they have settled down and then ask them if they may have forgotten a dose or need some extra support right now.
Having a husband or wife who can barely get out of bed, or who is making irrational decisions isn’t easy, so understanding their illness will be very helpful in living with a Bipolar spouse. The more you learn the more you will understand them and be able to help when he or she is having a hard time.
How to Live a Happy Life with Bipolar Disorder
Being diagnosed with Bipolar isn’t easy. There will be times when you feel good and other times when things are difficult. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy life with bipolar disorder.
Yes, there are plenty of things that are harder because of Bipolar, but there are also things that you might even be better at because of the disorder.
Focus on these instead of just seeing the negative ways that bipolar disorder affects your life.
For example, I am a mom of six. While there are times that I find myself impatient because of my Bipolar, I also tend to be more sensitive to the needs and emotions of others. This can be helpful as a parent when my children are upset or hurt. I can also pick up on cues in their moods that others might overlook because I am so aware of the shifts in my own moods.
Living as a Christian with Bipolar Disorder
Some people may find it hard to live as a Christian with Bipolar. They think that God is punishing them because they have a mental illness, or that they don’t have enough faith to be healed.
However, this is not true. It is not God’s will for everyone to be healed. Sometimes our struggles help to draw us closer to Him or witness to others.
Spend time in God’s word and you will see how He has used so many flawed individuals for His purpose. As with any illness, He will use all you are going through for His glory.
Instead of praying “God why do I have to suffer with bipolar disorder?” try praying, “Lord, I know you will use me even with my bipolar disorder, give me a heart that longs to do Your will.”
Over time it will amaze you what a difference it makes in your outlook and attitude.
Living a Happy Life with Bipolar Disorder
People tend to feel ashamed or embarrassed when they learn that they have a mental illness. This is understandable but remember it’s nothing that you did or didn’t do that made you that way.
Like any other illness, it simply means you need medical help and care to live well with your diagnosis.
If you are newly diagnosed or have a loved one who has just found out they have bipolar disorder, don’t let this news frighten you. Find a good support team that will answer your questions, recommend a plan that will work for you, and set you up with a therapist to talk to.
Learning what works best to keep your moods in check and stay balanced will help you be able to live a happy life even with bipolar disorder.
-Meghan Villatoro
If this article was helpful or encouraging to you, then please share it so it can help others, too!
Meghan Villatoro is a Christian Marriage Writer, Course Creator, and Founder of Restore Amor.
Originally from Long Island, she a New Yorker at heart, but has lived in El Salvador, for over 15 years. She has been married for 18 years and has been blessed with six kids.
She is passionate about helping Christian women strengthen their marriages and grow closer to the Lord. You can connect with her by joining one of her women’s Facebook groups: Strength and Dignity Women OR Restore Amor Christian Marriage.
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